What to Do When You Don’t Like the Country You Moved To

You’ve packed up your life, taken the leap, and moved to a new country. The dream of exploring new horizons, embracing fresh experiences, and starting a new chapter had you glowing with excitement. But now that you’re here, something feels off. The sparkle is dimming. Maybe it’s the culture, the lifestyle, or even the logistics of daily life—whatever the reason, you’re starting to wonder if you’ve made a mistake.

If this sounds familiar, take a deep breath. You’re not alone, and you’re not stuck. Moving abroad is a huge transition, and it’s natural to feel out of sync at first. Even the most seasoned expats and digital nomads face challenges in adjusting to a new country.

This guide is here to help you navigate those feelings, find your footing, and decide what’s next—whether it’s learning to love your new home or figuring out your next move.

1. Understand the Adjustment Period

First, it’s important to recognize that adjusting to life in a new country is a process. What you’re feeling might be completely normal. Culture shock, homesickness, and even disillusionment are common phases that many expats experience.

The Four Phases of Adjustment:

1. The Honeymoon Phase: Everything feels exciting and magical. You’re soaking in the novelty and charm of your new surroundings.

2. The Frustration Phase: Reality sets in. Language barriers, unfamiliar customs, or even the pace of life can feel overwhelming. The differences you once found charming might now feel exhausting.

3. The Adjustment Phase: You begin to find your rhythm. The unfamiliar becomes familiar, and routines help you feel more grounded.

4. The Acceptance Phase: You’ve settled in, found your community, and adapted to your surroundings. Challenges don’t disappear, but they feel manageable.

If you’re in the frustration phase, know that it’s temporary. This is a natural part of the adjustment period, and most people come through it stronger and more confident.

What to Do Now:

• Create Stability: Build routines that ground you. These could be as simple as a morning walk, visiting the same café, or cooking a familiar meal.

• Track Your Feelings: Keep a journal to monitor your emotions and progress. Writing can help you process what’s overwhelming and identify small victories.

• Set Realistic Expectations: Acknowledge that not everything will be perfect. Focus on adapting rather than striving for an idealized version of life abroad.

Personal Note:
When I moved to Thailand as an expat, I was thrilled at first. But after a few weeks, the honeymoon phase ended, and I found myself struggling with the language barrier and trying to keep a US schedule for my clients was wreaking havoc on my sleep patterns, socializing and general psyche. Creating a set routine helped me find a sense of normalcy and I was able to settle in to life in Thailand.

2. Pinpoint the Source of Your Discontent

Feeling unhappy can sometimes feel vague and all-encompassing, but breaking it down can help. Take a moment to ask yourself what specifically isn’t working for you.

Questions to Consider:

• Is it the culture? Does the pace of life feel too fast or too slow? Are the customs or social norms difficult to navigate?

• Is it logistical? Are you struggling with unreliable transportation, confusing bureaucracy, or housing issues?

• Is it personal? Are you feeling isolated, homesick, or disconnected from your goals?

Once you identify the root of the problem, you can start brainstorming solutions. For example:

• If the culture feels overwhelming, focus on learning one small aspect at a time, like greeting people in the local language or understanding basic customs.

• If housing is an issue, look into different neighborhoods or consult with local expats who may know reliable landlords.

• If loneliness is the problem, prioritize building a support system (we’ll dive into this below).

3. Build a Support System

One of the fastest ways to feel at home in a new country is to find your people. A strong community can provide emotional support, practical advice, and a sense of belonging.

How to Build Your Community:

• Join Expat and Nomad Groups: Facebook, Reddit, and Nomad List are great places to connect with others who’ve walked the same path.

• Engage Locally: Take a language class, volunteer, or join a club to meet locals and immerse yourself in the culture.

• Use Networking Apps: Platforms like Meetup and Bumble BFF can help you find like-minded people with shared interests.

• Coworking Spaces: If you’re a digital nomad, coworking spaces are hubs for meeting professionals and forming connections.

Pro Tip:
Joining an expat group changed everything. Not only did I make friends who shared my struggles, but I also got practical advice on navigating local challenges like finding housing and learning the language.

4. Make Small Changes to Improve Your Experience

Sometimes, it’s the little things that make a big difference. Adjusting your daily life can shift your perspective and help you feel more at home.

Practical Changes to Try:

• Upgrade Your Living Space: Make your home feel cozy and familiar by adding personal touches like photos, plants, or décor from home.

• Rediscover Your Passions: Whether it’s hiking, painting, or dancing, find ways to pursue your hobbies locally.

• Try the Local Cuisine: Exploring new foods can be a fun and delicious way to connect with the culture. Consider taking a cooking class to learn how to make local dishes.

• Learn the Language: Even a basic understanding of the language can open doors to deeper connections with locals.

5. Explore New Areas Within the Country

Sometimes, the issue isn’t the country itself—it’s the specific city or neighborhood you’re in. A new location within the same country might be a better fit for your lifestyle and preferences.

What to Do:

• Take Weekend Trips: Explore other cities or regions to get a sense of what feels right.

• Ask for Recommendations: Locals and expats can provide valuable insights about different areas.

• Relocate Locally: If you find a city or neighborhood you love, consider making the move.

6. Reframe Your Perspective

Sometimes, a mindset shift can make all the difference. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like, try to reframe the experience as an opportunity for growth.

Ask Yourself:

• What have I gained by moving here? (New skills, resilience, cultural insights?)

• How can I use this experience to grow personally or professionally?

• What’s one thing I enjoy about being here?

Practice Gratitude:

Each day, write down three things you’re thankful for about your new environment. It could be a kind interaction, a beautiful view, or a delicious meal. Gratitude helps you focus on the positives.

7. Give Yourself an Exit Strategy

If the country doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to explore other options. Having an exit plan can reduce feelings of being stuck and give you peace of mind.

Steps to Create an Exit Plan:

1. Set a Timeframe: Give yourself three to six months to adjust and reassess.

2. Research Alternatives: Explore other countries or cities that better align with your needs.

3. Plan Financially: Create a budget for a potential move, including flights, housing, and other costs.

Reminder: Leaving doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’ve learned what works for you and are taking steps to create a life that feels right.

8. Talk to Someone Who’s Been There

Reaching out to others who’ve experienced similar challenges can provide comfort, perspective, and actionable advice.

Where to Connect:

• Online Communities: Reddit threads like r/expats or r/digitalnomads, and forums like InterNations.

• Expat Blogs and Vlogs: Many expats share their journeys, including struggles and solutions.

• Local Groups: Attend meetups to find people who understand your situation.

9. Celebrate Your Wins

Even in tough situations, there are moments worth celebrating. Navigating a market in a new language, making a local friend, or simply surviving a challenging day are victories. Acknowledge these achievements to boost your confidence.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Stuck

Not every destination will feel like home—and that’s okay. Moving abroad is a bold decision that reflects your adventurous spirit. Whether you choose to stay and make it work or move on to a better fit, the most important thing is to prioritize your happiness and well-being.

Your journey is yours to design. Wherever you go, know that you’ve grown stronger, wiser, and more resilient for having taken this leap.